Where is home? What is home? I have always felt that I had lived in two separate worlds.  I wonder if all people feel that way when it comes to leaving their homeland and having to start over in an unfamiliar place. It was a feeling that I cannot describe. It’s almost like a dream and it all was a blur. This place where I was born is a minuscule piece in my memories. Mom and Dad brought me to America hoping that I would have more opportunities in life. At the time, America gave citizens more freedom to express themselves without any consequences. As artists, my parents struggled to articulate themselves so they worked hard to layout out a better path for me to grow on. For them, the most important element was that I would absorb art from both the East and the West. They knew this was the most important part of my upbringing and it would always be helpful throughout my life. It was a dream that was waiting to be fulfilled. My main goal in life is to develop this and make this dream come true. However, in order for me to fulfill this goal in life I must go back to my root and acknowledge the history of my past. This was something that I always wanted to do and my chance finally came in the winter of 2009.

As I reminisced about the past twenty years of my life I ended up finding an essay at the library that urged me to learn more of my past. It’s very similar to my life and I felt as if it was a path I once walked on. “Mao To Now” written by Melinda Liu. “China is thousands of years old but has been made anew in the last three decades, and my family with it”, Melinda said. This was her thirty-year journey that relates both the East and the West. Through her story I found something that helped me accomplish this search for my root and a little part of history that made me realize how much it has changed my life as an artist. This part of history existed in the core of China.

Now that I have come home, I found Tiananmen Square, also known as the Gate of Heavenly Peace and it was the main entrance to the Forbidden City during the Ming and Qing Dynasties. This extravagant piece of architecture was built in 1417 and was first named the Cheng Tian Men. This means that emperors obeyed the orders of Heaven in ruling the country and it is also honored as the “Gate of the Nation”.

It is a very important place where my mother once brought me when I was a little girl. I remembered her saying to me “ Make sure you take a good look at this place or else you’ll regret it because this is the core of your origin. Through the guidance of Melinda’s story I looked past these gates and found something extraordinary, an event that happened during 1989 just when Deng Xiao Peng was on the rise. What happened at that time changed the face of China in the most articulate way.

Melinda said.

The Square

“China in the 1980s was a place of excitement and possibility. Everyone there was looking for angles, opportunities and connections, especially Chinese entrepreneurs from

Hong Kong and Taiwan. In fact, prosperity was blooming not only in Deng’s China but all across East Asia; so were new demands for more political freedoms.”

“But as I neared Tiananmen Square in a taxi on May 3, I was startled to see a human chain of four or five bicyclists, some with white headbands across their foreheads, pedaling side by side, their arms linked. Their rolling protest blocked an entire lane of traffic. I marveled at their audacity. Student activists were still mourning one of their biggest heroes, Politburo member Hu Yaobang, more than two weeks after his death from a heart attack. He had earned their loyalty two years earlier, when Deng forced him to step down as Communist Party chief for being too soft on campus unrest.”

“June 4, 5:30 a.m. Grim gray dawn. I scribbled notes on a Beijing Hotel notepad, trying to record the horrific scene. A convoy of about 50 military vehicles came roaring down Changan Avenue, smashing through barricades while civilians shouted. For some exhausted reason I tried to count the number precisely, ticking off sets of four vertical lines traversed by a slanted one as the tanks and APCs passed. The tanks rumbled over everything: tents, corpses and debris from the 33-foot “Goddess of Democracy” statue the students had erected days earlier. Eventually loudspeakers began booming. All civilians were to remain in their homes: “The rebellion has been suppressed.” The sound quality was so bad I could barely make out the garbled words. At the square’s north end I saw a row of troops on their bellies, pointing machine guns toward the Beijing Hotel. I was sure they would never fire into a crowd of civilians. Then they did. I had to dive for cover in a pedestrian underpass to keep from getting hit.”

–Students poem- will intersect in book as quotes. Or be apart of the motion piece.

I pour my heart out to the white cloud,

I,  the homesick wanderer.

Oh, please, float back to my native land,

And drop the tears I shed for my mother.

I`m a wolf from the north

Wandering in this boundless desolate land.

The bitter north wind

Is blowing up a storm of yellow sand.

I clamp my frozen teeth,

And give a howl or two,

For no reason,

Other than my longing for the beautiful prairie in that

Legendary land.

As a student myself, I stand here I walk past these gates with Melinda’s words in the back of my mind, I realized how lucky I was to be discovering this part of our history. Something happened here in the past that really made a difference and I feel I inherited that change. I couldn’t understand how the students felt or why they protested. But I knew as an artist I strive for the freedom to express. It would feel like I was in jail if I couldn’t share my ability with the world. So as I sat on the cold benches in Tiananmen Square on a cold winter evening I wondered if those students felt my feelings.

Sitting there, I observed the tourists that came to see this magnificent piece of architecture and I thought to myself why are they really here? Is it really the architecture or is it the history behind these gates? Or both? Then I suddenly realized how important this event was that occurred in Tiananmen Square. One student I had interviewed in Tiananmen Square told me that in the past people were not allowed to express themselves as individuals; Life was dull and cold. Art that had too much nudity or that was too expressive was banned from society and taken away by the government. People either walked or rode on the old fashioned bicycles. The only art allowed to be shown or sold were activist posters rooting for how great the government was. Public displays were considered unacceptable, not to mention seeing people kiss on television. The only books sold were the ones that government controlled. It was jail for those who were artists. But what inspired me to come in Tiananmen Square was the desire to stand on the grounds where once these students had protested the need for freedom.

More and more I felt their energy around me as I sat there with my cold hands in my pockets. Unlike the sprites I felt near me, the people I asked about the event pretended as if no such thing had ever happened or had done damage to the government. I understood; it was politically painful for the government. However I interviewed some students around Tiananmen Square, asking them what this event was about and how china has changed since. Some say it has changed for the better; some say they see no difference. Luckily I found an art student just like me who was about the same age. He said to me, “ As an art student growing up in China, I come here to understand my past and to witness the history behind the core of China.” He understands that the student’s actions during this event weren’t necessarily something to be proud of, but has made a difference in our life as artists.  You see, as artists we need the freedom to express ourselves. If it wasn’t for the students who raised their voices and made a difference in the world, China would not of become of what it is today. Because of the students demanding the freedom to express themselves and refusing to be controlled by the government we now have the chance to express ourselves. We have more rights and things changed for the better so now I can expand my talent as an artist to the East.

After hearing his words I felt relieved. Now I understood what I came here to find. Everything seemed to be in the right place and I now realized an important element; that the past of my heritage has changed my present.

I realized after coming back home that things would be different now. We are free to express ourselves no matter what field we are in and as for a journalist Melinda can share this freedom as well.

Melinda said. “China has changed” “And society has changed as radically as the skyline, the real proof of how things have changed is the rising flood of Chinese returning home from life in the West. People here call them “sea turtles” because of their migrations back and forth across the ocean.”

Melinda is referring to people like me. I myself am one of those sea turtles that are swimming in the sea of self-expression, I must say happy at last to be home.

Here are some of my ideas for my working titles.

“Square Roots” “Symbol of Imperialism”

“Fairy Tales”

“Street Food” “Culinary Journey”

1. How I frame my topics.

“Square Roots”

I think this project will not be an informational piece where I just explain the roots of Beijing and how it developed with the history behind it. This topic pinpoints on a specific iconic temple that is located in the center of Beijing. It is the core of the Eastern humanity and it is very ancient. This temple is called Tiananmen Square.”  Tiananmen exists both as a subject and as the social context of Zheng`s remembrance. The square provides both past and present events with a single location. I can approach this idea by possibly presenting a timeline of how the Eastern culture developed around the square, or I can approach it by graphically revealing the details that’s hidden within the square such as the ancient folk art. Each piece of art this square carries has it’s own symbolism. I think it’s a very beautiful and ancient piece of architecture with hidden pieces of art that’s just waiting to be exposed. I want to dig deep into my Chinese roots.

“Fairy tales”

I think this project will not be an informational piece focusing on all the fairy tales that were ever invented or the movies that were ever created. This project will be based on the idea of how femininity hangs within these ancient fairy tales such as “The Blondeness of the Fairy Tale Beauty.”  Most woman of today are multitasking from going to work and to coming home to a family and it takes lots of strength and will power to accomplish their struggles. I see a similar pattern with certain fairy tales where the woman are always behind struggling with lack of attention. Through the use of fairy tales I can give a place for the ones that needs something more than reality.

“Culinary Journey”

I think this project will be based on a documented comparison of Eastern and Western Street food. Specifically in Beijing and New York City. Through this documentary I can present the different types of food and the diversity behind each culture especially coming from a person that was exposed to both cultures at a young age. I want to bring out the diversity of both big cities by taking a fun element that ties in with culture and history.  Food is a big part of everybody’s lives and sometimes the most solid memories came from events that had food around. I personally think it can be highly interactive for people that are interested in the development and process of street food.

3. “Voice of my text”

“Square Roots”

Through research and finding text that can combine with the element of my category, for “Square Roots” I am currently thinking of using “I” as the first person to present my form of idea. The relationship between my audience and I will be interpreted in a personal way. I want to bring my audience into this world that I have seen and created for them, I want them to walk by me as I stand in this center of this square and bring them back into the history of time with me. For example,

“I want to take you to this journey that I have once experienced myself….”

“Fairy Tales”

Through research and understanding the elements of these fairy tales coming from a woman’s perspective I want to use the third person as a voice. She is the person that I’m going to be talking about and She is a representation for all the women out there. It is not my personal experience however from a woman’s point of view. This way everyone can relate to the message the story. For example as a third person narrative, “She was a goddess and angel, how did she become such a…”

“Culinary Journey”

Through the research of finding text for my project I realized for this topic I would like to use the second person for my point of view. I want to show my audience what is out there and hope they can be influenced by my suggestions. For example,

“If you love the taste of spicy food then you must try….” Or “ You are not going to believe the origin behind this dish!” “ The ingredients are so ancient you probably have never even heard of such thing!”

4. The type of text that’s considered for my project.

“Square Roots”

In the book “Remaking Beijing” (Tiananmen Square and the Creation of a Political Space) written by Wu Hung, he talks to us about the origin of Tiananmen Square and how “this space” is connected with their personal experiences and aspirations, it also frames such experiences and aspirations within broad historical movements that I can relate to till this day. By using and understanding his informational introductions to the topic of Square Roots I can interpret it as a journey that I would want to experience with my audience. This narrative supports my thesis because it’s not too informational and there’s a deep connection in what I want to express.

“Fairy Tales”

In the book, “Beast to the Blonde” By Marina Warner, talks about how she discovered a suspect whiff of femininity hanging around the fairy tales. I want to take her theory and relate it to my own personal perspective by quoting her narrative. By pulling quotes it enhances the presentation of my project by pinpointing the overall idea of my project.

“Culinary Journey”

After researching different ideas of narratives for my project, I have realized that the theme I am going for is almost like one of those cooking shows where the person goes to different places to try the food that is related to its origin. Therefore I think articles or journals from people that have experienced the culinary taste in Beijing and in New York could support my project. I am taking their words and their experience and twisting it into my form of message. Which is to compare the culinary diverseness of both cities.

5. Venues for thought.

“Square Roots”

For the topic of square roots I want to present the origin of this temple and the inside art that ties in with history that is still believed and referred to till this day.

Instead of it being a book and knocking people over the head with information and tons of text that explains the origin of this ancient temple I want it to be an installation piece that will exist only for a few days.  In this piece I want to include all the historical figures of china, it can include old Chinese water bottles, old coins, old shoes, old ink, traditional fabrics and clothing, anything that ties in with the origin of this temple in Beijing. This process can also be documented then developed in to a book.

“Fairy Tales”

For this topic of a woman’s fairy tale, I want it to be an artistic book that really brings out the beauty of being a woman. I want to express the deep concerns and struggles of what a woman goes through. I want to express the nature of being a woman and the transformation of a woman’s life from young to old. It can be a very delicate art piece that withholds the beauty of being a woman through incorporating the expressive narratives of this fairy tale.

“Culinary Journey”

I can almost imagine layers and layers of delicious food that comes out of the topic of street food.  Since this is a very interactive topic that people can easily relate to. I was considering of doing an interface that can take you into these two different culinary worlds so you can see the layers of diversity that is created even through the content of street food.

6. Visual concepts

“Square roots”

An installation piece with symbolic objects that’s related to Tiananmen Square and the Chinese culture placed all around one room. Things can hang on the walls down to the floor covering every square inch of the room. Every object can be categorized and placed neatly in different sections of the room. Such historical objects such as traditional fabrics, traditional wedding gowns and shoes that Chinese woman use to use to keep their feet a certain size.  If I don’t have all the objects needed for this idea I can use images that I took to symbolize the event, which also can be its own category. I want my audience to walk through this room and experience what its like to be where I was and once acknowledged.

“Fairy Tales”

I can almost imagine the deltaic images of layers of delicate woman figures spreading across a horizontal formatted book cropped to perfection.  It can be expressed abstractly almost like a painting that takes you through this imaginary world of females in a fairy tale land. Typography along with the narrative can be very expressive and there are also lots of quotes that will stand out so it pinpoints the hierarchy of the design.

“Culinary Journey”

An interface with lots of exuberant images of people with food cropped distinctively. I can imagine two rows of images sliding across one another showing the contrast of diversity. At times it can even blend in together representing similarities or cultural influences. Typography in this interface can also be highly interactive.

7. Other elements in consideration.

“Fairy Tales”

I can incorporate the actual posters of the fairy tale in reference to the one that I will be presenting. I can also incorporate my own artwork specifically designed for this piece. It can be an oil painting, watercolor or pencil sketches.

“Four-sided root”

An original blue print of Tiananmen Square and how it use to look on land during one of the many dynasties. I can reference my journey through this blue print that can be placed on the floor of this room. That way the audience can have a closer experience to this temple. I will also be going back to China this winter break so if I do continue on this topic I am prepared to gather images and materials along with documentaries during my stay there.

“Culinary Journey”

By going to China this winter break I think it would be a great opportunity for me to gather more images and materials along with documentations of this culinary world. I am also thinking of incorporating real food for the audience to enjoy. By incorporating these elements my audience can feel more of an interaction.

8. Technical Resources in consideration.

“Square roots”

I took a sculpting class at the University of the Arts Junior year and the way I presented my final project was in an empty room. I think this can be an excellent resource for me to take advantage of.

“Fairy Tales”

I can ask Sara Macdonald for more information based on this fairy tale and get more sources. I would also like to look into the original fairy tales so I can understand more elements to each story for reference.

“Culinary Journey”

I would like show a documentation of how each meal was prepared and I would like to show it through my laptop.

9.Human resources in consideration.

“Four-sided root”

I can do personal documentaries in the temple of Tiananmen Square as in actual footages. This can be accomplished over winter break.

“Fairy Tales”

I would like to go to my mother for personal reference of how it is to be a independent woman and how it was for her to go through some of the struggles in her life. By acknowledging this I can then go back to the book of Fairy tales then relate it to one another.

“Culinary Journey”

I can incorporate a personal documentary over a person that lives in china and living in this culinary industry.  I can also document tourist that’s there for experience for a deeper

I was six not knowing why I had to leave and go so far. I was miserable and felt trapped not knowing my way out. I couldn’t run back, it was already too late. The only happiness I felt was in knowing that I was going to see my mother. She had gone to America a year earlier to study art at a college in New York. A year without her felt like a wound that never healed.

Landing in America began a new chapter in my life. Once off the plane I knew I had left far from home and an overwhelming feeling of being lost occurred.  I didn’t recognize anything. The English language was new to me and it was hard to understand. Then, there she was still tall and beautiful, dressed in a light paisley skirt, long black hair blowing with the wind. Finally I got to hug her and the wound started to heal. This was a new beginning like a blank canvas waiting to be painted on.

New York. It hit me how beautiful it looked especially seeing it from the Brooklyn Bridge. I have fading memories of how my house was. The neighborhood was called queens. My first thought after entering our new home was disintegration it was cold, moldy, dark and damp. Everything was falling apart it wasn’t where I wanted to be. I knew my parents worked intensively. There were dark circles underneath their eyes and they were pale from lack of sleep. Even at times of struggle they still had the will to bring me to an artistic environment such as musical shows on Broadway. Beauty and the Beast linger in my mind till this day.

I knew for my father sculpting was the most important part of his life and it would be incomplete without it.  I realize for him to be separated from his work would be like a disease eating away his insides leaving him hollow.

After few years of struggling, we finally got a brand new house it felt like the uphill climb had finally paid off. I was so excited to once again start on a new canvas only this time the colors wouldn’t be so dark. The house was located in the suburbs of Queens New York. Each house had a tiny hill like a small slope of a mountain. Everyone thought the inside of our house felt warm and inviting. The golden lights were always dimmed to perfection. We had paintings that went from abstract to classic hung around the rooms framed perfectly. There was also a beautiful waterfall in the backyard. Beneath that lay a pond. We had Koi who’s tails looked like streams of red and white ink trails that followed behind in the water. My mother once said this house was a gift and what it held symbolized the beauty of art.

I know they are proud of the home that they were able to provide, and the opportunities they have been able to give me. But what I am most proud of is that through all our struggles, they always kept art and creativity in my life and that had always been one of the most important elements of my upbringing, To me, the best thing they have given me was the gift of making and loving art.

At first, it was all a blur to me. Where was I heading? Why was this happening?  I knew I was leaving a place that had always been my home. I picture in my mind a man who is strong, humble and overflowing with dedication. This man was my father and he reminds me the most of my childhood home in China. He was recognized in the ancient city of Xi’An because of his large and brilliant art pieces. I remember standing next to one of his sculptures and feeling dwarfed and insignificant to its powerful stance and premise. Music was also a part of my life there. If I were blind I would find my home if I just follow the sound of my father playing the piano. That was my lullaby, no singing, no humming, just him with his hands on those keys. The art and music were enhanced by the aroma of my grandmother cooking, which enveloped everything. She always made food filled with creativity. She loved music and painting. I remember all the colors she had used. Never have I seen so many different variations. I learned from her that there was never a solid color in the universe. Artists realize that in a rainbow, there is more than just what is normally seen.

But there I was, six years old not understanding why I had to leave and go so far. I was miserable and afraid not knowing what was to come. I knew I felt trapped not knowing my way out. I couldn’t run back, it was already too late. The only happiness that I felt was that I was going to see my mother. She had come to America a year earlier to study art at a college in New York. A year without her felt like a wound that never healed. Once off the plane I knew I had left home and an overwhelming feeling of being lost occurred.  I didn’t recognize anything. The English wording was new to me and I couldn’t understand it. Then, there she was still tall and beautiful, dressed in a light paisley skirt, long black hair blowing with the wind. Finally I got to hug her. Suddenly the wound of my mother’s absence healed. So there we were standing in America. It was like a new beginning. Like a blank canvas just waiting to be painted on.

New York, one of the busiest cities. It hit me how beautiful it looked especially seeing it from the Brooklyn Bridge. Everything looked perfect as we drove through it.  After entering our new home, it felt cold, moldy, dark and damp. There was only one bedroom and another living room that was connected to the kitchen. A curtain hung from a pole separated the two rooms.

I didn’t know why I was there in the first place and why we had to leave China.  My parents knew that it wasn’t going to be easy trying to regain everything they had left behind. I didn’t know why my parents worked such long hours. I felt bad for them because I saw dark circles underneath their eyes and the look of their pale skin due to lack of sleep. I remember everyday after school while my parents were at work, I would come home to my fifteen-inch TV and put in my favorite movie Aladdin (sometimes I would sing along) and enjoy my snacks.

My mother complained about the pain in her knees. They ached from the dampness of the basement, which disintegrated some of my father’s paintings. It wasn’t where I wanted to be, I felt trapped once again. I felt like there was no turning back. My parents once told me that this was the hardest thing they had to be witness to and stand by not being able to give to someone you love.

After two years of struggles, we finally got a brand new house; it was a huge accomplishment in our lives. It felt like the uphill climb had paid off. I was so excited to once again start on a new canvas only this time the colors wouldn’t be so dark. The house was located in the suburbs of Queens NY. Each house had a little hill almost like a tiny slope of a mountain. Anyone who walked into our house said that it felt warm and inviting. The lights were always dimmed to perfection, never blinding. There were a lot of old European antiques mixed with a taste of Africa. We had paintings that went from abstract to classic hung all around the house framed perfectly. We also had a beautiful waterfall in the backyard. It was a mountain of rocks that originally came from China; beneath that lay a pond. We had Koi who’s tails looked like streams of red and white ink trails that followed behind in the water. My mother once said this house was a gift to me.

My parents were determined to give me a more open life that had opportunities. They knew they had to struggle their way through this empty canvas but all they wanted was for me to stretch my arms as far as I could to reach my purpose in life; success. As I got older I understood that they had always created an environment filled with another kind of richness, the richness of culture and art. I was given the opportunity to understand the importance of how eastern and western cultures positively come together. It wasn’t about materialism or how big the house was. What they gave me existed in all the homes I had lived in. To me the best thing they have given me was the gift of making and loving art.

Worksheet 2

9/20/09

1. Meeting with Sara was such great help! Here are some ideas thats more narrowed down from last week due to research and meeting with Sara.

Here is some articles that I have gathered so far.

Terms: (beijing and architecture and “Tiananmen square“)

Beijing At Warp Speed, BYLINE: Clifford A. Pearson, SECTION: Projects; Pg. 84 Vol. 196 No. 7, LENGTH: 1713  words

Architect dreams of a greener Tiananmen;
Ma Yansong also seeks to modernise Beijing’s hutong landscape, BYLINE: Raymond Li, SECTION: NEWS; Pg. 6, LENGTH: 807 words

Article title: Chinese Aesthetics
Article abstract: This entry comprises two essays on the artistic and aesthetic traditions of China: Historical Overview Painting Theory and Criticism The first essay traces the history of Chinese aesthetics and, in particular, the shifts in theoretical and critical focus within the discussions of the arts; contrasts are also made at times…

Article title: China, §II: Architecture
Article abstract: Traditional surveys of Chinese architecture often begin with the statement that in earliest times the Chinese lived underground or in nests and that with time they came up or down, respectively, to dwell in buildings on the ground. Semi-subterranean residences and houses raised on stilts still dot the landscape of…

Title:    Body image, dieting and disordered eating and activity practices among teacher trainees: implications for school-based health education and obesity prevention programs
Personal Author:    Yager, Zali; O’Dea, Jennifer
Journal Name:    Health Education Research
Source:    Health Education Research v. 24 no. 3 (June 2009) p. 472-82
Publication Year:    2009

I also have two other books based on architectures from the East and West coming from other libraries that connects with the Uarts Library.

At the free library I got book such as “grapic Signs” “Beijing architecture” “New York architecture”

Here is some narrowed down categories.

a. A positive comparison of the East and West architecture

b. The rise of architecture in Beijing

c. Eastern Street food in beijing

d. Graphic Signs (Urban Graphics)

e. Fashion in the 20th century(the body project)

2. My point of view…

a. Now at the age of twenty-three. I tried to define the root of my existence. Realizing that I have spent equal years of me in China(Beijing) and New York. It felt like I was living in two places at once. But what was my ultimate fascination through living in such two diverse places? Then right on top of my head Architecture! It holds so much information along with culture and it shows the magnificent transformation of each city. Therefore I wanted to show what I perceived by introducing the East and West most traditional architectures withholds tons of culture and history. I have gathered lots of research under the topic of traditional architectures in the East and West. The visuals and articles along with books are all very intriguing to me and there was tons of information. The architectures in the East and West are completely different carrying their own culture and uniqueness. It would be interesting for me to dedicate this piece I am imagining in my head to people in the West. Plus I`m going to China(Beijing) over the winter and I can`t wait to gather more information!

b. “ Beijing the new city” Over the past few fifteen years Beijing had an immense amount of change. This change was a break through on rules and regulations and is one of the main characteristics of this transformation. It’s interesting to see new architectures in Beijing however the old architectures such as Forbidden city (Gugong) or Tianmen square still fascinates me. There is such a long history behind both of these architectures starting with Ming dynasty in the 1400`s.

c. I have always been intrigued by the graphics I see on the street. While I was doing research at the free library I came across this book called Sign Graphics. It’s a very interesting book with lots of beautiful visuals. Some of the topics really stood out such as Graffiti Romantik located in Germany. They explore the possibilities of public walls through the application of poetry. After they got permission from the town council of Karlsruhe they decided to apply poetry as a graphic resource to the walls beneath the motor where there was no graffiti. They used type they designed called Fraktendon. This type was designed by them and it’s a combination of Fraktur and Clarendon. It is just exquisite.

d. Beijing street food is cheap, varied, convenient, and most important of all its delicious. There is such a wide range of street food in Beijing its literally impossible to go through all of them. However there are the most popular dishes that represent the culture of Beijing china and those you must try!

e. I was fascinated by how woman view and value their body has changed over time. A psychoanalyst Francoise Dolto developed a theory regarding the unconscious body image. Negative feelings someone that is unfit can lead to mental disorders such as an eating disorder and depression, Of course there is so much more to it than just the fear of gaining weigh. I want to examine more of the history of body image and how culture shapes ideas of woman’s beauty. I want to show the useful perspectives in dealing with body image and beauty culture today from a more personal perspective.

3. Framing my ideas..

a.  This Degree project will not be based on from what I see as I walk down each city, but rather taking a closer look at the heart of New York City in architecture. Observing the city from an Eastern perspective and comparing their uniqueness’s.

b. This Degree project will not be a presentation on each architecture that stands in Beijing,  but rather presenting the New city of Beijing after years of transformation in architecture. Focusing on the details of how it has changed through time. Unfolding details of symbolic historic architectures that go back to the Ming dynasty.

c. This Degree project will not be based on all the appealing graphic signs I see, but rather showing as a graphic designer how I love to explore variations of street graphics. Besides it being visually pleasing. I would love to understand more of where it came from and the history behind it and why certain Art piece is so well known. Almost like digging deeper into the world of Graphics.

d. This Degree project will not be me documenting each dish of what beijing has to offer , but rather me taking a closer look and taste in what types of street food that is in the center of Beijing and the traditions behind it so people such as tourist will understand why and how each dish is prepared.

e. This Degree project will not be showing each trend that was exposed in the 20th century,  but rather how Fashions influences. Especially for us woman fashion is a big part of our life. I want to show how woman deals with body image from a more personal perspective.

4. My Audiences..

A significant piece of history made for audiences from the East and West. From this piece they well understand the most iconic piece of architecture from Beijing and New York and the history behind each. Unfolding the beauty of its origin/culture and the importance of its creation.

I think the transformation of Beijing in the topic of architecture. The audience would mainly be an international designer that wants inspirations especially if they are interested in understanding more of the Eastern culture.

Graphic Designers along with architects would be interested in the topic of street graphics. Typography on architecture enhances its meaning and style and its essential for architects to work with graphic designers in order to better understand their subject matter.

Under the topic of Beijing street food I think it would be made for tourists that is going to Beijing or someone that is interested in Beijing. Going there and trying out the different street food is a big part of touring and its important to know what you’re eating along with the history behind it.

Under the topic of Fashion I think it would target mostly woman. Fashion is a big part of their everyday lives. Since I’m dealing with more of how a woman perceives her own body.  Not to say that men aren’t interested in fashion but woman seems to be more in tune and self-conscious.

5. Current thoughts of titles..

“A work of art from East to West” what I perceived from East to West.

“Rise of Beijing” showing how Beijing developed over the last fifteen years.

“Signs” the uniqueness of graphic signs.

“Beijing street food”

Perspective of bodies

6.  What do I think is the most difficult right now?

Perspective of bodies is hard because I keep going back into eating disorders. Even though that’s what I’m kind of interested in. I know eating disorder ads and books are so overdone however it is a subject that I have always been interested in maybe because I am also into psychology. However it is worth writing about especially because I have seen someone going through such nightmare.

I have lots of information on the Rise of Beijing. I am most confidant with the information and the research that I have gathered along with deep interest in the Rise of Beijing and A work of art from East to West.

interactive/spread/folded booklet to poster

The gift of art

At first, it was all a blur to me. Where was I heading? Why was this happening?  I knew I was leaving a place that had always been my home. I picture in my mind a man who is strong and humble and overflowing with dedication.  People admired him and wanted to be him. He was strong and impossible to defeat. He never talked much, but when he did it would always be words of wisdom. His outside appearance wasn’t the most beautiful but his personality carried him into a perception of a charismatic man. The significant stench of cigarette smoke came into my blurry thoughts.  I’ve always wondered why he smoked so much, it felt as if every second of the day he would have a cigarette in his hand or mouth. I thought to myself, was he nervous at times? Was he under immense stress? Is his mind working constantly that he just needs something to set the endorphins off? Is this his only dependency? This man was my father and he reminds me the most of my childhood home in china. It triggers the memories of him holding a carving knife, piercing it into a block of cold, brown clay. I knew he was a hard workingman that was known for his talents. He was recognized all around the city of Xi’An, China because of his enormous and brilliant art pieces.  I remember standing next to one of his sculptures and feeling dwarfed and insignificant to its powerful stance and premise.  Besides his family, sculpting was the most important part of his life and it would be incomplete without it.  I realized for him to be separated from his work it would be like a disease eating away his insides leaving him hollow. I was always proud of him and felt a sense of pride knowing that he was part of my life. To be a sculptor in China with an economy on the rise, your considered a highly respected person compared to most people in China. Everyone respected him for who he was and for his skills.  He never had to worry or struggle having his kind of status.

Music was always a part of my life in China.  If I were blind I would find my home if I just follow the sound of my father playing the piano. That was my lullaby, no singing and no humming, just him with his hands on those keys. The art and music were enhanced by the aroma of my grandmother cooking, which enveloped everything.  She always made such fine food, and every meal was filled with creativity. She also loved to play music and create oil paintings. I remember all the colors she had used in her paintings. Never have I seen so many different varieties of colors. I learned from her that there was never a solid color in this universe.  Artists realize that in a rainbow, there is more than just what is normally seen. Through the vision of an artist there are variations of colors that never end like a rainbow that continues on forever.

But there I was, six years old standing in front of the airport with my father. I was waving to my grandma not understanding why I had to leave and go so far. I was sad and afraid not knowing what was to come ahead. I knew for a fact that I wasn’t happy and I felt trapped not knowing my way out. I couldn’t run back, it was already too late. I looked up at my father seeing his facial expression and I remember wondering to myself did he feel the same way?  I remember I hadn’t told anybody in school where I was going. My father told me to not speak too much about family issues because leaving Xi’an, China (a small ancient city) at that time would trigger people to become jealous and also because of my father’s status, he didn’t want people to think he was giving up his important work. I had to leave all my friends behind and my teachers probably wondered why I never came back. It felt like I was disappearing from the face of the earth. The only happiness that I felt was the fact that I was going to see my mother. She had come to America a year earlier to study art at a college in New York.  So I forgot about the worries and moved on. I was excited to be on a plane for the very first time and it was a long ride.  I fell asleep many times, but woke up to check if my dad was all right. He never slept once.  Eyes wide open, he told me to stay still and keep sleeping. For the first time I saw uncertainty in his eyes. I didn’t want him to be sad or uncertain so I tried to be good and kept quiet. I remember looking out the window of the plane and pretending to fly and thought to myself, if I was the plane I would fly faster since I was so desperate for my mother. A year without her felt like a wound that never healed.   Once I was off the plane I knew I had left home and that brought an overwhelming feeling of being lost.  I didn’t recognize anything. The words people spoke were different. The English wording was new to me and I couldn’t understand it. People had blonde hair and blue eyes. The sky was bright blue with clouds like white cotton not so much like the grey, smoky skies of China.  There were no bikes; instead, shiny cars line up neatly one after another. Then there she was, still tall and beautiful, dressed in a light summer skirt and long black hair blowing with the wind. Finally I got to hug my mother. I knew she was lonely here by herself and the first thing she did was grabbed a hold of me and poured her heart out with tears of joy. Suddenly the wound of my mother’s absence healed, it was about time. So there we were standing in America, we had nothing except each other. It was like a new beginning, a clean slate, like a blank canvas just waiting to be painted on.

New York, one of the most crowded and busiest cities filled with the richness of cultural and art. I remember my dad wanted to go sight seeing around the city before going home. It hit me how beautiful New York looked especially seeing it from the Brooklyn Bridge. Everything looked perfect and I felt relaxed, almost in a trance as we drove through the bridge. I thought to myself is this my new home now? Fainted memories of how my first place with my parents looked. It was located in a small part of Queens called Woodside. My mother had already picked out the apartment beforehand. She was living with her friend for a year until my father and I had moved here. My first thought after stepping foot in the house was cold, moldy, dark and damp. My parents said to me that this isn’t permanent its only temporary so well have to make the best out of what we have. There was only one bedroom where my parents and I had slept and another living room that was connected to the kitchen. The only thing that separated the two rooms was a curtain hanged from a pole.

I knew that this place was not where I wanted to be. I didn’t know why I was there in the first place and why we had to leave my home in China. Of course my mother realized how much of a struggle it was to be an artist in America because she arrived first. They both knew that it wasn’t going to be easy trying to regain everything they had left behind. Even though both my parents were well known artists in China they weren’t know nation wide. I didn’t know why my parents worked such long hours at work. I guess being textile designers in New York took long intensive hours in order to meet deadlines.  I felt bad for them because I saw dark circles underneath their eyes and the look of their pale skin was from lack of sleep. Being in elementary school at the age of seven all I could do at the time was to do well in school and develop more of my English and stay out of trouble.

I remembered everyday after school while my parents were at work I would come home to my fifteen inch TV and put in my favorite movie Aladdin (sometimes I would sing along) and enjoyed my snacks at the same time. After that I would try to do my homework, which I struggled a lot with since no one was there to help me with my English. When I did get stuck I would knock on my neighbor’s door. He was an old, Italian man who lived next door and we called him Bear. We always stayed on his front porch. He sat in his chair while I sat next to him on the steps. When I read out loud he would correct me with my pronunciations along with my grammar.

Sometimes my mother complained about the pain in her knees, they ached from the dampness of the basement. That dampness even disintegrated some of my father’s paintings. It wasn’t where I wanted to be, I felt trapped once again. I felt like there was no turning back. One day I brought a friend over who went to the same school.  My parents and I were in the kitchen making food. As soon as she stepped into my place she suggested that we should play outside. I didn’t understand why she didn’t want to stay in the house until I got older, but my parents understood.  Moments later they told me that, when they saw the look on that girl’s face, it made them feel guilty that they subjected me to that environment. They told me that this was the hardest thing they had to be witness and stand by not being able to give to someone you love.

After two years of struggles, we finally got a brand new house and it was a huge accomplishment in our lives. Even the house in China was more like a loft than an actual house. It felt like all the up hill climbing has paid off. I was so excited to once again start off on a new canvas only this time the colors wouldn’t be so dark. The house was still in New York just in a better part of Queens. It was a small quiet part of the suburbs called Hollis Hills They called it Hollis Hills because the landscape wasn’t flat. Each house had a little hill almost like a tiny slope of a mountain. It was a good school district, which was an important reason why parents had picked this place. Neighbors were polite, there were lots of trees, grass, birds and squirrels around us. The morning air was always fresh there was never any annoying commotion it was just a pleasant quiet neighborhood. Anyone who had walked into our new house said that it felt warm. The yellow lights were always dimmed to perfection, never blinding. There were lots of old European antiques mixed with a little taste of Africa. They were always prone to collecting African antiques it brought a sense of exoticness into the house. We had paintings that went from abstract to classic hung all around the house framed to perfection matching the champagne colored walls and the shiny wooden floors. We also had a beautiful waterfall in the backyard. It was a mountain of rocks that originally came from Suzhou, China. Beneath that lay a Koi pond; our Koi had tails that looked like streams of red and white ink trails that followed behind them in the water. Everyone enjoyed coming over out house, it was precious and it was a gift to me from my dad.

My mother’s precious gift was her cooking. No matter how hard or busy my mother was, she always made time to arrange a nice dinner with different varieties of food such as traditional homemade dumplings stuffed with pork and cabbage with scallions and seasoning and her delicious barbequed lamb marinated to perfection with exotic Asian spices. That was my favorite time of the day, to sit down with my family at the end of the night and eat together. I was always there when my mother was preparing dinner. She had always told me “one day when you’re alone, you’re going to have to make yourself dinner so you better remember how to make this.” That’s why I have so much cooking knowledge. Food is a big part of our family because my father loved to eat. I loved the parties that my parents threw almost every week with their friends over the weekends. My father didn’t really help with the preparing the food so it was always my mother’s job and mine.

Art always ran in my family and still does. All over my room, I hung up paintings that I had drawn which my dad had custom framed. My parents were both proud of this new home. But what they didn’t understand was that there was so much more than the house and the material things that they had given me. As I got older I understood that they have always created an environment filled with another kind of richness, which is the richness of culture and art. It was always around me and, now, everywhere I go I see how everything relates to a wide variety of culture and art.  They helped me realize how important it was to appreciate and to accept cultural differences and art across the world. Because of them, I was given the opportunity to understand the importance of how eastern and western cultures positively come together. I view things differently opposed to someone that wasn’t always around the art environment. I was more aware and more open to what the world had to offer. I was exposed to the accepting nature of this new diverse culture that sits in America. It wasn’t about materialistic things or how big the house was. What they gave me existed in all the homes I had lived in, whether in China, or that basement, or in an enormous house. They always showed me that as long as you don’t give up and face the fears that are in front of you then you could accomplish anything in life. My parents were determined to give me a more open life that had opportunities. They knew they had to struggle their way through this empty canvas but all they wanted was for me to stretch my arms as far as I could to reach my ultimate goal in life, which is success. To me the best thing they have given me was the gift of making and loving art.

CLICK TO ENLARGE